Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
