I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
