His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
