some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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