can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
