Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
