hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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