The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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