is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
