i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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