being pregnant is like rehab
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
