How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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