This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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