I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
