Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
