I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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