K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
barbara walters just said penis...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
