did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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