you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I will be naked everywhere
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
