Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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