dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
