But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
