is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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