I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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