Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
