She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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