dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
