Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Can I color on your dick again?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
