Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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