But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
