Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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