Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
