so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
