I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Boobs speak an international language.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
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