Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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