Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
