Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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