Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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