did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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