I looked at my own cervix.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
