you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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