My first STD was from a foam party
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
