So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
