Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
