every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
