I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
