we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
