So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Randomize
