After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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