We won't sleep together?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
