So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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