Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
