Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
