i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
