I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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