remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
