just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
