you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
