UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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