My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
