he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
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Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
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Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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